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J3's Nifty Fifty


Friday 3rd February saw an event that many people have waited a long, long time to see. Who would have ever thought they’d witness the day when this would happen……Carlos didn’t get a tasty roll after a match!  Also, Greystones J3s put fifty points past Mary’s, an equally rare occurrence.

Rob Lee. Barra, fresh from a milk drinking competition (no joke) started at blindside while Rocky Balboa crouched down at openside. Digging his scrumcap out of his kitbag for one more round was @Trevor Martin who, much to the heartbreak of the J3 women’s supporters club, was recently engaged to his beautiful girlfriend of twenty five years. #nomorefun

One man texting machine Jeremy was unable to take the field due to a back injury so his younger but less handsome brother Andrew took over at scrum half. Finally there would be some pace behind the scrum. Opting for a mesomorphic bodytype at outhalf meant Beebs would take the field at 10 while Old Man Sully managed to stay up late enough for the evening kick off to play 12. Robbie “The Hitman” Morrison resumed his role at outside centre having missed the Sutton game. J3 stalwart Ben Finnegan occupied right wing while Bernard Lee took the left wing in what would be his final game before moving to Australia.  (He has asked me to remind anyone reading this that his remaining steroid stock has now been reduced to clear).  Last but not least, standing at fullback was Kicking King Carlos.

A very strong subs bench was made up of U20s Barry Treanor, NFL offensive tackle Bresso, lumberjack Declan Snow, a returning Hero and the perpetually youthful Cian O Sullivan.

Having picked a very strong front row we were confident that we could take on Mary’s in the scrum however our hopes were dashed when they arrived without a scrum and only fourteen players – a sad sight for a club that has been so strong at J3 over the years.

The game kicked off with the usual panache of any J3 fixture: pass to Beebs and hope for the best. Before long we were on the score board after a charge down from Ger Dempsey meant Perkins was able to dot down wide on the left. Carlos did the usual despite the stiff breeze. 7-0.

Mary’s came back with a vengeance however and scored two tries in quick succession as a result of some disorganisation and lack of concentration in defence. 7-12.

Unfortunately at this stage ‘The Blacklion Lionheart’ Beebs got a knock on his knee and had to come off in place of Cian. This prompted a swift recovery from Greystones. Moving up the pitch after a typical brake from Sully (the positive one), we found ourselves camped on their line before the ball was spun out to Carlos. He gave a soft offload to Tom Cruise who took a line that any centre would have been proud of, crashing through under the posts for the try. Carlos converted. 14-12.

We kept the pressure on Mary’s and soon we were in for another try thanks to a dummy from Billy (can’t believe Mary’s though he might actually pass) and a sprint to the line from 40 meters out. Carlos converted. 21-12.

Barely two minutes later we were in again when a wayward clearance kick from Cian was gathered by Ben who showed great pace to beat his opposite man in a sprint for the line and in the process became joint top try scorer for the season on……2 tries. 26-12.

The second half began similarly to the Sutton game, taking time for us to find our stride and get back into the match. Mary’s scored a try early on bringing the score to 26-17. To Mary’s credit they never gave up despite their player deficit and continued to play some good rugby. Their confidence was up after their score but thankfully a 70 meter wonder try from Andrew deflated any momentum they had gained. Carlos converted. 33-17.

We were temporarily reduced to 14 when Tom Cruise was binned for repetitive infringements at the ruck. The ref’s hands were too cold to write his name on the report card so Tom politely penned his autograph followed by a trail of x’s. Tom Cruise xxx

The introduction of our subs really closed the game out and Mary’s could not keep up to the pace we set. Robbie Morrison, who had been cutting superb lines all evening, was rewarded with a sweetly taken score under the posts thanks to some fine back play in the build up. Carlos converted. 40-17.

Again, Mary’s wouldn’t give in and scored another converted try. 40-24 but some massive hits in midfield from Ger Dempsey and  Robbie allowed Andrew to capitalise on a dropped ball, touching down out to the left. 45-24.

Finally, at the death of the game and with some strong attack play Robbie crossed for his second try. Billy stole the tee from Carlos and failed with the conversion. Final score 50-24.

Honourable Mentions

James Perkins: Got in a catfight with his opposite number, scored a try and some soft hands in the backline. Great performance, hopefully he’ll hang around for a cup run.

Tom Cruise: Took an unbelievable line for his try and continued with his counter rucking efforts as well as some great efforts at the back of a few mauls.

Andrew Roberts: no comment.

Cian O Sullivan: came straight from work yet again. Fantastic at outhalf. Luckily Reggie doesn’t watch junior matches or he’d have long since been poached.

Ethihad Airways Man of the Match

Robbie Morrison: crunching tackles and some slick lines in attack as well as two tries. He’s been one of the main reasons for our turnaround in fortunes since the New Year.

Thanks to Perkins, Hoppo, Barry and Andrew for making themselves available for the game and welcome back to Hero after the boo boo he got back in November. We’ve finally managed to gain a bit of momentum since the Christmas break and have put a couple of good performances in over the last few games. We’ve Lansdowne away next week in what will be a massive game for us but it’s something we have every chance of winning……fingers crossed Jeremy and Brian are injured again.

Finally, farewell to Bernard Lee who, after milking the Irish Human Growth Hormone industry dry, has decided to move elsewhere to pursue his dreams of becoming a professional porn star. He’s improved massively since September and everyone would agree that it was great to get to know him on and off the pitch in that time. Let’s hope it’s not the last we see of him!  All the best in Australia Bernie, hope that chest wax wasn’t too sore!


J 3 Greystones v Sutton

Last week saw a number of epic sporting contests that were of such quality, passion and atmosphere that the whole world stood up and took notice.  Real Madrid v Barcelona, Liverpool v Manchester United,  Manchester City v Liverpool, however it was events at John J McDowell Memorial Park that overshadowed all of these occasions. There was a Metropolitan Area Junior 3 Section A relegation battle about to take place.

The press had run riot during the week trying to gain access to the Greystones training camp and decipher the mystical “Billy Ball” Greystones kept calling in the lineout during their previous matches. Rumours had spread thick and fast across the papers of Greystones reportedly planning on making changes in the backline, one reporter claiming:

“I couldn’t see very well given the distance they were from our press box but I’m almost certain they were running a prop at fullback”

All questions were finally answered when head coach Brian McFadden, who was uncharacteristically straight faced, named the squad at the team’s hotel.

Read more... [J 3 Greystones v Sutton]
J3 Terrenure 29 -29 Greystones.

Finally, The Scott, has come J3. image001

Terrenure 29 -29 Greystones. 

Lakelands, 10th December 2011.

The J3s....the J3s. What are the J3s? Who are the J3s? How do they relate to Greystones RFC’s Junior Section? Are they the liver of the club? The team that performs the thankless task of processing all of the disgusting toxins that the slovenly, gluttonous and unnecessarily lavish mouth ingests in its quest to satisfy its greed? Or are they the heart of the club? The organ that despite its neglectful owner’s attempts to ignore the life threatening signs of dysfunction and disease, manages to find a way to keep ticking over, keep pumping blood around the body and allow the brain to thrive despite its severe lack of morals and class? 

Read more... [J3 Terrenure 29 -29 Greystones.]
J3 v Suttionians Match Report

….and so Jeremy and Trev’s Protestant Reformation rolled into it’s 4th match of the league campaign hoping to slay heretic north siders Suttonians on a still yet chilled Autumnal Friday evening.

Amid hushed whispers of corruption, simony, absenteeism in the Junior section, a growing unrest was burgeoning amongst the Junior 3 players and it’s representatives. This, coupled with disappointing performances in prior matches meant this game had become a must win for us.

Read more... [J3 v Suttionians Match Report]