….and so Jeremy and Trev’s Protestant Reformation rolled into it’s 4th match of the league campaign hoping to slay heretic north siders Suttonians on a still yet chilled Autumnal Friday evening.

Amid hushed whispers of corruption, simony, absenteeism in the Junior section, a growing unrest was burgeoning amongst the Junior 3 players and it’s representatives. This, coupled with disappointing performances in prior matches meant this game had become a must win for us.

The starting line up had shifted more than Savo’s waistline this week thanks to various factors, not least Tyrell being lost to our feudal overlords and Sloper being struck down by a bout of Bubonic Plague (or he had a sore tummy, can’t recall which).

Lining up at number 1 was stalwart Tom Ruane, Squire Tom Cruise hooked and Steven Sutton (the only man in the club remeber the last Reformation) took the tight head jersey. Paul Heagney kindly took a break from the Knights Templar to cover 2nd row while Pope John Paul Coveney aligned alongside him. Luke Sloper left his bedsit to tog out at blind side and Declan Snow’s cockerel managed to wake him up for the joust this time, therefore taking the number 7 jersey. Trevor Martin ‘Luther’ packed down at 8.

The back’s shape consisted of Jeremy Roberts, who had spent much of the week writing his Ninety Five Theses on the Power of Efficacy and Indulgences in GRFC’s Junior Section took the role of scrum half. The loom woven outhalf’s tapestry belonged to Carlos with Prince Charming Ben Finnegan and Johnny Belltower marking the wings. Chivalric Hero played full back while a man who will no doubt go on to be knighted, Dan McQuaid, started at 13.

Medieval references aside, there was one spot left on the team with news that Sully would not be fit to play. With little options available to us, Ricky filed the necessary paper work to the branch, availing of our overseas player clause....alas Ma’a Nonu made his Greystones debut at 12.

Sutton kicked off to get the game underway but it was Greystones who started the stronger of the two sides rooting ourselves in their 22 for the opening phases.  We were rewarded for out efforts when Carlos took advantage of a dog legged defence and scooted in under the posts and slotted the conversion....Steve Dempsey will be proud of his mentor. (7-0)

It was expected that the Suttonian heads would drop having conceded such a soft score but to their credit they played some decent rugby, making good yardage through their outside centre, giving Nonu a lot of work to do in defence. A penalty given away in front of our posts gave them the opportunity to get on the score board but their goal kicker must have been shaken by an earlier hit by Carlos and missed an easy chance. Greystones fell asleep during a subsequent scrum on our own five, allowing the Sutton scrum half to dot down close to the posts, followed by a conversion. (7-7)

Jeremy’s high pitched, nasal based voice attempted to rally the troops under the posts but it was of little use as soon we found ourselves back in the same spot after a breakaway interception negated the hard graft we showed to get back into a scoring opportunity in their half. (7-14)

Unfortunately, the night of 4th November 2011 will also be marked for the sad passing of Sean Carlos’ 100% goal kicking record for the 2011/12 season. Despite Sean’s protests, the referee confirmed that the kick had been agonisingly hooked inches wide of the left upright, bringing the first half to a close.

The second half saw the introduction of David Spice Trade at tight head while Nonu, who didn’t want to let down the thick band of supporters who had paid so much to see him play, limped on despite his injured knee.

The second half began with an arm wrestle for territory which the ref promptly halted, demanding that the game be restarted sans arm wrestling. Both teams had realised the importance of the game and the chance to chalk up their first wins of the season.  A combination of nerves, a wet ball with no grip (cheers J1s!) and indecision saw the game turn to a scrappy affair with little cohesion or structure however it is times like these when you need to stand up and be counted, Paul Heagney doing just that. Grabbing the game by the scruff of the neck he gathered the forwards around him and led the charge on the front line. Our maul was superb, at one stage driving from inside our 22 to the halfway.

This did little to deter Sutton as they continued to press hard in attack, putting us under serious pressure. The introduction of Niall the Savage bolstered our scrums once more however we will leave the details of his attempted clearance kick to the jury of a kangaroo court down the line.

Special mention must also be made to a rare, rare event that took place Friday night. “A J3 win?” you ask. Even rarer. Put on a coat because hell is about the freeze over.....Sean Carlos was penalised for a dump tackle. A dump tackle. A. Dump.Tackle. It was lucky Alan Rolland wasn’t referee or he would have been headed for an early bath.

With time against us Daddy Donnelly came into the frey and made a huge difference. Drawing on all his experience he learnt at Montessori, he made a fantastic kick into the Sutton 22, moving us up the pitch and lifting our spirits.

Putting his dangerous tackling to one side, Sean was able to clear his head long enough to slot a penalty to edge us closer to Sutton with a little over ten minutes remaining. (10-14)

Only 6 minutes left on the clock meant we had to score a try to win. A massive tackle by Trebuchet in midfield caused the Sutton centre to spill the ball allowing Greystones to hack the ball forward, forming a ruck only centimetres from their line. Quick recycling saw Declan Snow pick and drive over for the try, sending the legitimately big crowd for a cold November night, into ruptures! Carlos converted as usual. (17-14)

With 5 minutes left on the very eccentric referee’s watch we had to compose ourselves and focus up so as not to allow Sutton an easy score. We did just that and Carlos booted the ball to touch giving us the win. They’ve been few and far between this season and it was a huge relief to players and coaches and everyone involved in the two teams this year.

THE QATAR AIRWAYS' J3 LEAGUE MAN OF THE MATCH
There were a few candidates for the prestigious throne, the winner of which would receive the keys to the Audi in the car park.

Ma’a Nonu - very solid defence and strong carries, did no harm to his chances of retaining the 12 jersey in the future

Niall Savage - was really fired up for the J3s and for the 25-30 minutes he was on the field played genuinely the best rugby this reporter had ever seen him play. Great leadership, dominant scrumming and some phenomenal carries.....and people say he’s just a big mouth!

Daddy Donnelly - only played 10 - 15 minutes but was in a league of his own, going to be a very important player this season

Declan Snow - scored the winner and should have been given another score earlier if it hadn’t been for some shocking refereeing.

but the winner is......

Paul Heagney- had a superb game. Hard tackling, strong rucking and unbelievably valuable leadership. Commanded the lineouts brilliantly and the score would certainly have been very different had he not been on the pitch. Having his first game back for a while he fully deserves his new car.