Billy Norman had a new hair do this weekend....

As Captain Ken Doherty dozed off on Friday night happy sock in one hand and team sheet for the following day in the other, not in his wildest dreams did he think he would be sitting in the members bar toasting a 54 – 0 win over then league leaders St. Mary’s.

Nor did the cosmopolitan fifteen that took the pitch boasting strength not seen since the infamous Nobby J2 “Cabal” that stormed all before them – and caused a few rows over the family table in the mid noughties.

However anyone who witnessed the five star performance in the inclement October weather was in no doubt – the 22^nd of February was a milestone and above all a marker for the season. The mighty fours ran in an astonishing eight tries – seven converted by Maestro Dempsey sending a message to allcomers in the coveted, glamorous, spectacular and electrifying Leinster Junior 4 Section A Round 1 Pool A (etc) 2012 League championship

Selection

After the epic and victorious battle of Clondalkin the stage was set for a top of the table clash. RTE secured the rights for two packets of crisps having missed out on much of the Rugby World and sent top man Hugh Cahill (Ryle was busy.....) to oversee the big game.

Selection was always going to be tight (read cutthroat) - favours were called and black books opened. The final team that took to the parkhad a pack featuring Willis, Motormouth Meganne, Duiler, Harnett, Lyle, Psycho Hoey, Kovac and of course Beefy prop Savage.

The backline was equally impressive. Nugent managed to huff his way back to nine (do you know who I am ? ... I am a goddamn Hall of Hamer) displacing Kavanagh to the wing. Dempsey imperious against Dalkin slotted in at ten wondering if he would get a pass all day.

Maccer took a break from solving our banking crisis (a lot done....) to join the ever present twinkle toes of Danny Mac in the centre. With Ding Dong Bell finally accepting that at the wrong side of thirty Saturday’s are now his thing (that and Adam Merriman emerging from Bogball), Shane Power added his wondrous ginger mullet to complete the side (cause he’s worth it...).

The bench saw the welcome return of the Shelfpacker......

A great start

Traditionally late starters under previous regimes, the Barbarians tore into the game from the off. Duiler, outstanding at eight until he hobbled off with the game won, attacked the Mary’s pack like they had stolen his overworked sunbed.

Meganne when taking a break from molesting, accosting and checking out the ref, the brute force of Harnett and the guile of Willis carried so hard the Mary’s men began to think of the long trip home with a mere two minutes on the clock.

Polish Pete Barry

Despite all the superstars, it was Polish immigrant Kovac who got the fours going. With his head taped like Frankenstein and the trademark four day med student stubble, the converted second row looked like a throwback to the Ciaran Fitzgerald days (Adidas Flankers anyone??). Two quick tries left the thousands watching in the arena (and millions watching at home) who the f**k he was.....

Thuggery... your honour

Meganne relaxes after the game

Thereafter, normal service resumed as Meganne was held up by Psycho Hoey to deny him an opener [never a try] he so richly deserved but so regally screwed up – white line fever anyone?

Undeterred and in an attempt to make amends for this the three time first team supremo committed himself to a further off the ball incident involving knuckles, a shoulder and a set of brass knuckles - earning a conservative yellow much to the shock and relief of the sideline.

We will not even mention the broken collar bone incident other than to say three straight jackets and 100mg of Prozac are currently monitoring someone in Eden Gate.

Shock and awe

With a solid platform from an imperious scrum and a surprisingly solid lineout, nine and ten had a nice day out too.

The NOOODGE pepped by his  shock demotion last week scored a vintage sniping try early doors in the second half and was outstanding throughout even nailing a box kick for the first time since 2006.

Dempsey never having the indignity of an off day (unless it is a conversion under the posts) played like a rejuvenated Carlos Spencer attacking a strong Mary’s three quarter line time and again drawing defenders like a magnet and either scoring tries (he got a further two from trademark breaks) or offloading to the Ballerina McCarthy at 12 constantly pirouetting between Mary’s centres (for no tries).

Ring in the changes

As the scores rang up and Stones refused to leave the Mary’s 22, management decided to unleash the bench and the one legged Shelfpacker Mooney joined the Fray to instant effect finishing off a series of outstanding offloads led by the immense Willis, Meganne and even a cameo dart from Boyband Finnegan.

Nooge finally allowed Kendo move Sam to nine but nor before reminding everyone why is the only active HOF’ er setting up another Greystones try [I will say Billy but could have been Willis or Meganne].

The juggernaut rolls on

And on we go clear at the top and aristocratically enjoying the wine and [knob] cheese – the sweet smell of success. Man of the match was very close and were it not for a Vinny Jones moment or six for Meganne he would rival Willis, Maccer, Nugent and Kovac for man of the match. However with two tries and seven from 8 no one could argue with the balding messiah’s claim so congratulations Steven Dempsey.